I love stories. Good stories have a lot of power if we open our minds and hearts to them. People who think past the shallows love good stories with meaning and lessons that replicate real life. In the last few days I have been exposed to two stories of two strong men. One of the strong men I knew personally. The other I did not. One was a devout Christian. The other was a devout Muslim and was briefly the leader of an African country when I was a very little girl. These two strong men were my grandfather J.C. and the other was Ahmed Ben Bella. My grandfather died in 1987, we believe at the age of 72. He was never really sure of his birth date. My grandfather was a farmer and carpenter. Ahmed Ben Bella died last week at age 93. He helped in the liberation of his country, Algeria, from over a century of French colonial rule, and he was the first president of Algeria from 1963 to 1965 when he was overthrown. He spent over 2 decades in prison, went into exile in Europe, and later came back to his homeland and functioned as an elder statesman. He was respected not only in Arab but also in African countries as a freedom fighter and liberator.
These two men both experienced discrimination. My grandfather was biracial. He was illiterate, but he knew how to survive. Racial discrimination was a fully open and accepted way of life when he was growing up and into his adult years. Ahmed Ben Bella saw discrimination at school from one of his teachers who was biased against the students because they were Muslim and Arab. One African I follow on Twitter said the other day that Ahmed Ben Bella had "more than nine lives." He was the ultimate survivor.
I've read some of the things that Ahmed Ben Bella said and like my granddad he was unafraid to speak the truth and stand up for what is right. I remember my grandfather as a very quiet man who spoke slowly with a old fashioned black southern brogue. He went to church regularly, and he and my grandmother both believed in helping others and providing hospitality to both blacks and whites. Before I was born and my mother was a girl, my grandfather had a rebellious streak. He did not tolerate being taken advantage of from his white employers. Perhaps he got away with what he did because he looked more or less white. My mother told me a story this weekend about an incident. He had done work for some white people. When it was time to eat, he was told they would give him a meal, but he would have to eat it outside. Granddaddy responded audaciously that he had a kitchen, chairs, a table, and a wife who could cook him some food; he got in his car and left.
Mom said they often worried that my granddad would get into serious trouble one day for speaking his mind, but he never did. It was the American South under Jim Crow, and he could have been attacked or killed for being blunt to white people. By the time I knew my granddad he had mellowed. But I understand more and more now the source of my own outspokenness, but mine has arrived later in life. My outspokenness comes from not only dad and sometimes even mom, but also my grandfather. We are as proud as some Eastern peoples from ancient cultures, and we don't take humiliation and disrespect lightly.
A few days after Ahmed Ben Bella's death, I found an interview he'd done about twelve years ago for an Egyptian newspaper. I was fascinated by the story of how he met his wife. He was single when he had briefly been president. He didn't marry until he was middle aged and was in prison. Ahmed Ben Bella's mother was very concerned that he was still single. He said in the interview that he had resigned himself to remaining unmarried because his life was devoted to the liberation struggle. Later he was married, I read in another newspaper, by proxy. A young female journalist who had visited him in jail decided she would marry him. They wed after seeing each other only three times. It must have been love at first sight. Yes, I'm still a romantic a heart, but I reside in a tough world, and I'm also a black woman in America, and at my age I have no illusions left...
I thought it was so heartwarming the devotion of Ahmed Ben Bella's wife, joining her husband in prison. There are very few people in this culture now who will stick by each other through thick and thin. The few who still get married have eliminated the old phrases out of the marriage vows, and not much is left now.
I read in another online paper in an obituary that Ahmed Ben Bella's wife was taken from the prison to have a baby in a hospital, but she miscarried. When she was brought back to join her husband she had a day old abandoned infant girl with her. Later the couple adopted a handicapped child. I was really affected by the compassion of these two people taking two kids whom no one else probably wanted. Ahmed Ben Bella said his daughter spent her first seven years in prison with him and his wife. His wife was permitted to leave the prison to visit her family from time to time, but she was devoted to sharing his hardship and isolation with him.
These two stories that I learned about in the last week are wonderful in their own ways. I wanted to tell them because I hope that whomever reads this will think. I try to help people to think. A good writer doesn't put down every little detail. There should be gaps, mysteries which make one wonder. I ask questions to jar people's hearts sometimes. I know many hate to think, but thinking and more than just thinking on a base level is important. Deep thinking is very important. Deep thinking leads to not only knowledge but also character, and it is never too late to increase knowledge and develop a good character.
Even though my grandfather looked white, he identified fully with other blacks no matter what their hue was. He always considered himself a black man. He identified with the oppressed.
I love these words of Ahmed Ben Bella which really state where his identity lay, "I am Muslim first, Arab second and then Algerian. I am also proud to be an African."
I too will always identify with the those who are strong in overcoming the perilous portions of life and the oppressed no matter where they are. Since things will never be fully just in the country where I live, I identify myself as an African. Africa was the first region (Turkey was second) where I first felt full acceptance and welcome, and I will always feel a gratefulness to Africans and an extreme fondness.
Monday, April 16, 2012
In Town, Turkish Writer Mustafa Akyol
A photo I took of Mustafa Akyol at the lecture
I was invited to go to a lecture by Turkish writer Mustafa Akyol at my old university week before last. Basically I only knew of him by name through a couple of blogs I used to read. I haven't read his book or even his writings on his website. I mentioned on Twitter that he was coming here, that I hoped to go, but that I knew nothing of what his ideology is. Then one of my Turkish followers Tweeted in my direction, 'He's against evolution theory, supports ID. He supports democracy, sharia law and jihad, but is against Islamic extremism.' I had to look up what ID was an abbreviation for and recalled once I found it that I'd seen it before, "intelligent design." I didn't know the details of the meaning of the term, but I was aware that it referred to a theory of creationism. I am familiar with creationism as taught by the Bible, which is the only theory of it that I've had any real in-depth exposure to. I've never believed in evolution, so there was no conflict there. As for sharia law and jihad, my reaction to those words were not tempered by the usual Western panic. I have studied enough about Islam and sharia in a general sort of way to know they are not what the average American thinks they are. So I decided to keep my plans of seeing what Mustafa Akyol was going to talk about.
Mustafa Akyol's lecture was an hour long, and he basically gave a brief history of the Middle East in the last century after the fall of the Ottoman Empire. The conflict between secularists and Islamists were also talked about. He said that most of the Arab governments that became independent from European colonialism after the collapse of the Ottomans were secular. According to him, for years the secularists had oppressed the Islamists, so he claimed that one of the reasons for the Arab Spring was due to years of strong arm tactics that leaders like Gamal Abdel Nasser, Saddam Hussein, and Muammar Gaddafi had used. He really didn't say very much about Libya, and I can understand why, but still I wish he had. What has gone down in Libya has become a blot on the entire so-called Arab Spring. I follow some people in the Middle East and others with origins there along with some Africans, and the ones I follow were skeptical at the beginning of the Libyan conflict, and after it became so outrageously bloody they have expressed disgust. Perhaps two months into these revolutions I had also become skeptical and was suspicious of forces both inside and outside the region that were trying to propel these revolutions. What happened in Libya was no doubt a counter revolution. I was appalled and sickened by what went down in Libya from the beginning when it became obvious that networks like Al Jazeera and CNN were siding with the rebels and trying to sway public opinion. Already there were stories of how racist these rebels were raping and killing black Libyans and black migrants. There was early evidence of their brutality on YouTube. Neither the huge demonstrations in support of the Jamahiriya (Green Libyan government) were ever shown on TV. They could only be seen online.
Mustafa Akyol said that he was hopeful for Tunisia out of the entire group, however. He said absolutely nothing about Bahrain or Yemen, which I also found disappointing. There was little said about Syria.
I told my Turkish friends I agreed with ninety to ninety-five percentage of what he talked about, but now that I've had over a week to reflect, I would say I now feel that a lot of questions were not answered. No doubt Mustafa Akyol is a good speaker to listen to, but I feel too many pieces to the puzzle were not interlocked. He said that he agreed with some but not all of the ideology of the Muslim Brotherhood. I don't know whether to be alarmed by that or not since I don't know enough about that particular movement. I am alarmed that he seems to still feel favorable towards Obama and said he likes Obama's tactic of "leading from behind" which was first heard in regards to Libya. I think "leading from behind" is just a new phrase for Dick Cheney's "going to the dark side." I never bought into the US was only providing England and France with "moral" support." The US had a major hand in attacking and destroying parts of Libya and disrupting the country. I believe Gaddafi was the chief target from the beginning and that the next step was to loot the coffers of that country. I had lost what respect I had for Obama when he refused to have people from the previous administration prosecuted for war crimes. After Libya, what little if any respect I had was dead and gone.
There was a question and answer session after the lecture, and I was tempted to ask Mustafa Akyol "Sir, are you a neo-Ottomanist?" I have suspicions that he might be to a slight degree. All these governments that have dipped their hands in the so-called Arab Spring are jockeying for power, no matter all the slogans and propaganda that they hide behind. The US and EU are on their last leg of 500 years of global domination, both societies and economies are in moral and financial disarray, and they will not go quietly. Arab states like Saudi Arabia and Qatar fear Iran and want to be powerhouses. Iran has quietly become a regional power and the US and many Arab states don't like this. Turkey has been told it is a model for the region in various quarters and is acting on such praise, but even Mustafa Akyol doesn't completely agree with that idea. He confessed that all is not well with Turkey either.
There were a number of questions in my head, but I felt a little shy about speaking out in such a large group where I didn't know most of the people. There was a book signing afterwards of his book Islam Without Extremes, but I didn't buy a copy. Perhaps I will read it in the future. I was glad I got an opportunity, however, to see this writer speak, but there is much more I need to learn.
Monday, March 19, 2012
An Excerpt From Sei Shonagon's The Pillow Book
I was supposed to be finishing up the first draft of an article I will be submitting to a magazine. I'm close to finishing, but I couldn't help myself. I hadn't posted anything on this blog for close to a month, and I might not have time to write here again until another month from now. I decided I wanted to post a brief excerpt from my copy of Sei Shonagon's millennium old text The Pillow Book. My copy came in the mail about a week after I began this blog. I've only skimmed some of the book. Besides writing short descriptive pieces of things in her life and in Japan 1000 years ago, Sei Shonagon wrote down a lot of lists. She seems to have been a finicky, but poetic and honest lady, someone I would enjoy chatting with over a cup of tea or coffee or whatever the drink of choice was in her day, as long as it didn't contain alcohol. I don't drink alcohol.
I was just looking through her book trying to relocate a description she wrote of the emperor gathering his friends at night and playing his favorite musical instrument for them. She claims listening to him play at night was quite pleasant. Hopefully she wasn't being sycophantic, but from the little I have skimmed, she probably wasn't or at least not completely.
Here is one of her lists, an excerpt from her book, as translated by Ivan Morris. I like her lists because they give a hint about her personality, skills of observation, and her poetic spirit.
Elegant Things
A white coat worn over a violet waistcoat.
Duck eggs.
Shaved ice mixed with liana* syrup and put in a new silver bowl.
A rosary of rock crystal.
Wistaria blossoms. Plum blossoms covered with snow.
A pretty child eating strawberries.
*The leaves and stems from the liana vine were used as a sweetener before the introduction of sugar to Japan, according to the notes in Ivan Morris' translation of Sei Shonagon's The Pillow Book.
I was just looking through her book trying to relocate a description she wrote of the emperor gathering his friends at night and playing his favorite musical instrument for them. She claims listening to him play at night was quite pleasant. Hopefully she wasn't being sycophantic, but from the little I have skimmed, she probably wasn't or at least not completely.
Here is one of her lists, an excerpt from her book, as translated by Ivan Morris. I like her lists because they give a hint about her personality, skills of observation, and her poetic spirit.
Elegant Things
A white coat worn over a violet waistcoat.
Duck eggs.
Shaved ice mixed with liana* syrup and put in a new silver bowl.
A rosary of rock crystal.
Wistaria blossoms. Plum blossoms covered with snow.
A pretty child eating strawberries.
*The leaves and stems from the liana vine were used as a sweetener before the introduction of sugar to Japan, according to the notes in Ivan Morris' translation of Sei Shonagon's The Pillow Book.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
My Old Car and Some Saved Lives
Today I went to have my car checked out for some possible problems; I was hoping that whatever was wrong was not a serious or expensive problem. I hate debt. I don't need anymore debt. I fear debt. Now that perhaps sounds un-American, but a lot of what I say and my views don't jibe with the standard outlook in this country. I'm a pragmatist, not really an optimist. I do not have the "I think something therefore it is because I want it to be that way" belief system. I look at all the possibilities beforehand so as not to be overly disappointed; I confess I do take the pessimistic view first. If all goes well, I give silent thanks to God and wait for the next crisis and disappointment.
No, from what I've read and heard, many of my fellow countrymen and women don't see things that way. I guess I'm more Eastern in my outlook, some what. I'm a realist. I've had a hard time (not as hard as many millions), but to me and when I was experiencing all the bad, it was blatantly hard, difficult, etc., if you will. I know my hurts and my feeling. I can't be in denial. That's just how I am. I can't deny my attitudes, good or bad; I know my own shortcomings. Someone once said or wrote, "Know thyself." To my own self I try to be true, except when I'm procrastinating, which is a habit I've working on to alleviate before I face disaster.
Well, late this morning I went to Tires Plus which is a car service company which not only sells tires, but does car repairs. Yesterday after coming back from a brief out of town trip with my mom and a Turkish friend to see some of my relatives who live far out in the rural, when I had gotten about two miles from home, my car switched off at the traffic light on one of the major highways in town. I was terrified. My car had never shut off before. There were cars behind me and beside me when the light changed from red to green, and my car had gone silent. Fortunately, I was not so panicky that I didn't think fast. I turned on my emergency lights. Then I put my car in park, put on the emergency brake, and then re-cranked it. It started back immediately, and mom and I went on our way.
I was uneasy following that incident. I mulled about whether something was seriously wrong with my car's engine. On the dashboard I had noticed when I re-cranked my car that the symbol that looks like an oil can with a drop of oil coming out of it lit up. I know almost nil about cars. I got out out my car manual yesterday right after I got home. I even checked online, but just as when I don't feel well, I didn't want to speculate or try to make a diagnosis of what might be wrong. I decided to go to the professionals to find out the truth even if I had to pay $1500. It turned out this morning that the problem was minor. Carbon had gotten on some part under the hood (I can't recall the part) and they had to clean it. Also there was come corrosion on or near my battery, and they took care of that as well. In the end I was charged less than $100.
The repair guys were impressed by my 12 year old car. They had checked the computer system, and there were no problems. I just gotten an oil change less than 2 months ago. I bought my car new in 2001 right after I'd had a minor accident in the same model car that was also new. In the accident the front axial of my car had been broken, so I was told it would just be cheaper to get a new model. My insurance allowed it.
My present car looks kind of beat up, but it only has a little over 51,000 miles on it. It sails down the road. Even though I'm a good defensive driver, and I have an excellent driving record of no speeding tickets, etc., (my last parking ticket was over 20 years ago when I was a university student), I don't enjoy driving. I never miss my car when I'm working and living abroad. I loved riding the bus in Turkey. I enjoyed to be in the midst of humanity instead of isolated and insulated in my own little box on wheels. There were times when men would get up and offer me their seat, some older people would offer me some of their snack, or a someone would strike up a conversation with me. I loved riding on the ferry across the Bosphorus Strait in Istanbul. I enjoyed riding on the bus from the town where I was teaching in Botswana in the early 90s to the capital city. Those long rides, views of semi-desert, low mountains, the women with their babies, the hawkers of chips (french fries) that got on the bus... I remember being invited to cram myself into a mini-van with 14 or 15 people in Gaborone, the capital city of Botswana. "Come on! Come on!" They'd smile and beckon, and some lady wouldn't mind even if I had to sit on her lap. Everyone understood that the driver wanted to make as much money as possible. Sometimes I think of some funny lines from a book I read some number of years ago called
The Demonic Comedy and a character says, "I live in air-conditioned box.... I drive to work in air-conditioned box. I work in air-conditioned box. I come home to air-conditioned box. A rat he live better."
But I'm rambling. I've seriously looked at the correlation to how much people drive and the wars in the last decade. I was never was an excessive driver, since I don't love driving and my identity is not wrapped up in my vehicle. There are complex reasons for the wars this country is in, and one of the many reasons is control of the world's oil and natural resources. It's not about they hate us for our freedoms. That's shallow propaganda. It's not about we have to save them from that evil dictator. They aren't saved when the military blasts its way in. I just don't buy the humanitarian war rationalization either.
But one reason and problem is we are gluttons for their oil and other resources. I have come to realize from my research, listening to scholars and independent journalists on the subject, not mainstream media TV personalities, ex-CIA, and colonels and generals, that like the Spanish empire that was a glutton for gold four or five centuries ago, like the Africa slave trade that enriched so many in the Americas, a lot of it boils down to having enough oil and resources to keep the American economy functioning and making a small class of people obscenely rich. I realize that if I drive less, that means someone might not get bombed so quickly in the long run. It's just a tiny hope. I just try to do my part, not add to the problem.
I don't want to contribute to anyone's destruction if I can help it. It's the same for gadgets and other items that many hold dear. Research coltan and other minerals which go into the making of our computers and other gadgets and how people in parts of sub-Saharan Africa are mining and suffering so we can past the time or communicate with people we know or don't know, play games, do business, etc. Read about the cocoa/chocolate industry and child slave labor in places like the Ivory Coast. The Ivory Coast was invaded last year by UN and French troops, and the elected president was overthrown. Do research and develop some critical thinking skills. I love chocolate, but it's fattening. I limit eating it even more now since some kids in the Ivory Coast might be kept out of school and beaten so they can gather cocoa and chocolate companies in the US and Europe profit from it.
I care about people who suffer. I love the oppressed, not the bigwigs that many people look up to and are told are the pinnacle of success. The oppressed doesn't have to be related to me and mine for me not to want to add to their suffering. Those guys at Tires Plus who praised the fact that my car was like new under the hood had no idea of how I feel about my beat up car and now why I drive less and less. Driving is not my hobby. When I go somewhere I'm not just out to be out there. I'm going to a destination. I feel I have a duty to not add so much to others' demise or suffering, so I don't drive so much, and I'm keeping my 12 year old car as long as I can.
No, from what I've read and heard, many of my fellow countrymen and women don't see things that way. I guess I'm more Eastern in my outlook, some what. I'm a realist. I've had a hard time (not as hard as many millions), but to me and when I was experiencing all the bad, it was blatantly hard, difficult, etc., if you will. I know my hurts and my feeling. I can't be in denial. That's just how I am. I can't deny my attitudes, good or bad; I know my own shortcomings. Someone once said or wrote, "Know thyself." To my own self I try to be true, except when I'm procrastinating, which is a habit I've working on to alleviate before I face disaster.
Well, late this morning I went to Tires Plus which is a car service company which not only sells tires, but does car repairs. Yesterday after coming back from a brief out of town trip with my mom and a Turkish friend to see some of my relatives who live far out in the rural, when I had gotten about two miles from home, my car switched off at the traffic light on one of the major highways in town. I was terrified. My car had never shut off before. There were cars behind me and beside me when the light changed from red to green, and my car had gone silent. Fortunately, I was not so panicky that I didn't think fast. I turned on my emergency lights. Then I put my car in park, put on the emergency brake, and then re-cranked it. It started back immediately, and mom and I went on our way.
I was uneasy following that incident. I mulled about whether something was seriously wrong with my car's engine. On the dashboard I had noticed when I re-cranked my car that the symbol that looks like an oil can with a drop of oil coming out of it lit up. I know almost nil about cars. I got out out my car manual yesterday right after I got home. I even checked online, but just as when I don't feel well, I didn't want to speculate or try to make a diagnosis of what might be wrong. I decided to go to the professionals to find out the truth even if I had to pay $1500. It turned out this morning that the problem was minor. Carbon had gotten on some part under the hood (I can't recall the part) and they had to clean it. Also there was come corrosion on or near my battery, and they took care of that as well. In the end I was charged less than $100.
The repair guys were impressed by my 12 year old car. They had checked the computer system, and there were no problems. I just gotten an oil change less than 2 months ago. I bought my car new in 2001 right after I'd had a minor accident in the same model car that was also new. In the accident the front axial of my car had been broken, so I was told it would just be cheaper to get a new model. My insurance allowed it.
My present car looks kind of beat up, but it only has a little over 51,000 miles on it. It sails down the road. Even though I'm a good defensive driver, and I have an excellent driving record of no speeding tickets, etc., (my last parking ticket was over 20 years ago when I was a university student), I don't enjoy driving. I never miss my car when I'm working and living abroad. I loved riding the bus in Turkey. I enjoyed to be in the midst of humanity instead of isolated and insulated in my own little box on wheels. There were times when men would get up and offer me their seat, some older people would offer me some of their snack, or a someone would strike up a conversation with me. I loved riding on the ferry across the Bosphorus Strait in Istanbul. I enjoyed riding on the bus from the town where I was teaching in Botswana in the early 90s to the capital city. Those long rides, views of semi-desert, low mountains, the women with their babies, the hawkers of chips (french fries) that got on the bus... I remember being invited to cram myself into a mini-van with 14 or 15 people in Gaborone, the capital city of Botswana. "Come on! Come on!" They'd smile and beckon, and some lady wouldn't mind even if I had to sit on her lap. Everyone understood that the driver wanted to make as much money as possible. Sometimes I think of some funny lines from a book I read some number of years ago called
The Demonic Comedy and a character says, "I live in air-conditioned box.... I drive to work in air-conditioned box. I work in air-conditioned box. I come home to air-conditioned box. A rat he live better."
But I'm rambling. I've seriously looked at the correlation to how much people drive and the wars in the last decade. I was never was an excessive driver, since I don't love driving and my identity is not wrapped up in my vehicle. There are complex reasons for the wars this country is in, and one of the many reasons is control of the world's oil and natural resources. It's not about they hate us for our freedoms. That's shallow propaganda. It's not about we have to save them from that evil dictator. They aren't saved when the military blasts its way in. I just don't buy the humanitarian war rationalization either.
But one reason and problem is we are gluttons for their oil and other resources. I have come to realize from my research, listening to scholars and independent journalists on the subject, not mainstream media TV personalities, ex-CIA, and colonels and generals, that like the Spanish empire that was a glutton for gold four or five centuries ago, like the Africa slave trade that enriched so many in the Americas, a lot of it boils down to having enough oil and resources to keep the American economy functioning and making a small class of people obscenely rich. I realize that if I drive less, that means someone might not get bombed so quickly in the long run. It's just a tiny hope. I just try to do my part, not add to the problem.
I don't want to contribute to anyone's destruction if I can help it. It's the same for gadgets and other items that many hold dear. Research coltan and other minerals which go into the making of our computers and other gadgets and how people in parts of sub-Saharan Africa are mining and suffering so we can past the time or communicate with people we know or don't know, play games, do business, etc. Read about the cocoa/chocolate industry and child slave labor in places like the Ivory Coast. The Ivory Coast was invaded last year by UN and French troops, and the elected president was overthrown. Do research and develop some critical thinking skills. I love chocolate, but it's fattening. I limit eating it even more now since some kids in the Ivory Coast might be kept out of school and beaten so they can gather cocoa and chocolate companies in the US and Europe profit from it.
I care about people who suffer. I love the oppressed, not the bigwigs that many people look up to and are told are the pinnacle of success. The oppressed doesn't have to be related to me and mine for me not to want to add to their suffering. Those guys at Tires Plus who praised the fact that my car was like new under the hood had no idea of how I feel about my beat up car and now why I drive less and less. Driving is not my hobby. When I go somewhere I'm not just out to be out there. I'm going to a destination. I feel I have a duty to not add so much to others' demise or suffering, so I don't drive so much, and I'm keeping my 12 year old car as long as I can.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Musings and A Little Food for Thought
*****If things were the way I wanted I would go back into
teaching here again, get re-certified.
Last week I really saw that kids need me, but I can't cure the social and
familial ills of this country. I can’t
make people respect and revere learning and the profession I worked hard to get
into and is now displaced out of because after two years of teaching, two years of
disrespect, racism, and little support from the principal of my school, I gave
up, was burnt out, angry, extremely hurt, and said never again.
I'm not big enough to cure the problems of this place.
Last Monday at the non-traditional high school which
is just a prelude to prison (police walking the halls, age group of students 16-25, thug attire, an occasional pregnant teen), some of the students told me they wished I was
their teacher because I'm "laid-back".
I’ve never thought of myself as laid-back, perhaps high-strung, but...
Maybe I am mellowing out a little as I get older. I will be 50 next month.
Tuesday I was checking myself in at the start of the day
at an elementary school, and someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, and it was a big girl who was a
school patrol. I must have been in one
of her classes before because she reached out to me and hugged me and then
promptly left. The afternoon of the same day after I'd made sure the group of second graders I taught that day were on their correct buses to go home, I was walking back
inside and first a tiny boy and then a little girl who were going to their buses
also came up to me and hugged me and promptly went off to their buses.
Before I allowed my certification to lapse years back,
the lowest grades I was certified to teach were 4th grade to 6th (middle
grades) then on to the 7th to the 12th in Social Studies and
English only. I faced a lot as a young
teacher and had little support. I gave up.
Later I got a lot of satisfaction teaching abroad first in an African
country, Botswana, and in Turkey. The
family structures were more intact in these countries than here. There was a big difference in attitudes
towards discipline and respect of teachers, things that have been cast aside
here. African-American kids are my biggest concern because
they have been hit hardest by a society decaying on every level. I wish I could be there for them, but my
health and lack of patience won’t allow me.
*****Just a dream: I
want to be a queen and have my own Utopian kingdom. LOL! I
would be a benevolent monarch. I would
make sure my people got the best education and health care. Everyone would have what they need, and
crafts and creativity would be encouraged along with stable marriages and
families which are the backbone of any well-functioning society. I have been called "Queen" a few
times on Twitter by other African Americans. Flattered.
The above was inspired by when I came home last night from a discussion that I was
leading at my old university. I got home and turned on the TV briefly. Tavis Smiley
was interviewing an African lady dressed as an African king. It was Queen Peggy. Read her inspiring and surprising story
here: King Peggy: A Cinderella Story--With a Twist King Peggy is not a complete anomaly. Africa has had at least one
female ruler that lived as a king. She was the Egyptian Pharaoh Hatchepsut, and
for those in denial about it, Egypt is in Africa. I know my map, and I won’t
allow myself to be brainwashed and browbeaten into believing European or American
propaganda that it is not.
*****I suddenly recalled this yesterday and thought I'd mention it. A few years ago I told some students very briefly of my
adventures teaching English in Turkey. I
showed them a photo of a portion of the Istanbul skyline along the Bosphorus,
and a couple of them said, “Disneyland!”
I guess in a way beloved Istanbul, the only city on two continents, Rome
in the East, does look like a fantasy.
*****I’ve known about Kshar’s cooking blog for some time. He teaches Persian cooking, recites poetry in
Farsi, and also teaches about flower arrangements. I don’t know a lot about Persian/Iranian
foods, but I see some similarities to Turkish cuisine, but I also believe Persian recipes are even more complex than the Turkish.
I do some Turkish cooking when I can.
I had an Iranian friend here in town, but she moved, and the times I
visited her home, she had kept her country’s tradition of great food. She was an older woman close to my mom’s age,
and had fled Iran with her husband and children after the 1979 Islamic
Revolution. I was fascinated by the
beauty and colors of the meals she presented to her guests. I see the same and more with Kshar’s
creations:
*****Some people might think I’m solely into art, poetry,
literature, Eastern and African cultures, but I’m also interested in issues right
here at home with my own people. The previous help me only escape for a little while from thinking about those who are destroyed or doomed and are not even aware of it. Yes, I’ve
had far more friendships with foreign people than people here at home over the years, and in
the last few years my closest friendships have been with Turkish people. I’ve always felt like a foreigner in this
country. It’s very dismal and tragic
with a lot of African Americans, a lot of horrors. Some of what is happening to us is the nature
of the society we live in, and also many of our ills are self-inflicted. We live in a lot of denial as a people. I believe that if you have nothing else in
life, try to have God in your life, a good education, dignity, and self-respect. All of that in the end will mold you into a person with morals and high standards. Never shoot for mediocrity. Most people do. Western culture is encouraging it more and more.
Week before last I saw this lecture at a black bookstore in Philadelphia by Dr. Umar Abdullah Muhammad, Intellectual Insurrection: From Public Schools to Prison. I agree with him on about 95% of what he says. This is a must see for African-Americans and anyone else who is interested in learning about the catastrophes that have hit our community since the death of Dr. King. Ignore the title. There is no big focus on Professor Griff on here. Start at about 4:44 just before Dr. Muhammad comes on.
Week before last I saw this lecture at a black bookstore in Philadelphia by Dr. Umar Abdullah Muhammad, Intellectual Insurrection: From Public Schools to Prison. I agree with him on about 95% of what he says. This is a must see for African-Americans and anyone else who is interested in learning about the catastrophes that have hit our community since the death of Dr. King. Ignore the title. There is no big focus on Professor Griff on here. Start at about 4:44 just before Dr. Muhammad comes on.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Crocodile Tears and Whitney Houston
Boo hoo hoo! Boo hoo hoo! Please spare me the drama.
I didn't expect that Whitney would die so young! Why didn't you?
This is not to rip Whitney apart since she got enough of that in the past, when it was said too many of a certain group took her away from us. This is not patting myself on the back, but I did remain a loyal fan while she still had a real singing career left. Others had started turning their backs on her before that time.
When I learned Whitney Houston had died on Saturday at an age that is a year younger than I am, the lyrics from one of her later songs popped into my head, "It's not right, but it's okay..."
It's really sad what we humans put ourselves through and what others will put us through. I felt so sorry for Whitney, and I wasn't surprised that she would end up dead at a young age. After all, she was in a helluva business, facing a helluva media and helluva fickle fans. It's just so tragic and terrible.
What I want to get to is not Whitney who made some bad choices, but I want to get to the so-called devoted fans. There sure was a lot of noise on Twitter and Facebook Saturday night. Was the noise genuine? I surely hope so, but I doubt some of it was. Or was this some people's way of trying to cover their tracks after tearing another celebrity down that they had lauded, got tired of, and then cast aside? I'm just asking these questions because I remember some ugly things that were being said some time back about WH.
Whitney had one thing in common with Michael Jackson that I noted immediately on the day of her death. Black people came out in droves crying over her demise just like they did with Michael, but where were we when these two were suffering? I remember when Whitney became very popular with whites back in the years of her movie The Bodyguard and black folks said, "We don't like Whitney no more. She's singing for the white folks." Or "Too many white people like her, so I don't listen to her anymore." Oh yeah! One of our many little dirty secrets in this society, and especially with my generation, is that we segregate ourselves according to music too. There is white people and black people music, and never the two shall meet, especially with some of us middle aged and older folks.
Before Whitney's marriage to Bobby Brown, some people had started questioning her sexuality. Whitney was in her twenties, but there was never any news of her being seen with any guy. Some folks started making the assumption she was gay because of this. There were no suggestions that she might have just been picky or being in the business she was in where there were more whites than blacks, that maybe she didn't want to date someone white and was waiting for a black guy. The ugly assumption just popped up. No critical thinking, just getting on the road to start tearing a star who had a innocent image down.
Now Whitney seemed to rush to marry Bobby Brown, who's career was almost non-existent after the gossip started about her sexuality. I did feel she had made a seriously bad move marrying him, but some whites who had supported her started saying that Whitney had turned "ghetto" for marrying crude and rude Bobby.
I'm not going to go much further than this, but I do want to say one word, "hypocrisy." I was still a fan of Whitney even after her heyday. I had no problem with her and Kevin Costner loving each other in The Bodyguard. I wish they had allowed the two characters to get married. So there! It was almost as if Hollywood was afraid to allow it to go beyond what was a very powerful crush. I was there when Whitney was Waiting to Exhale, so I can talk.
We pretend so much with ourselves and others. I see no one expressing their concern for Whitney's teenage daughter who was already experiencing problems. I feel for this young girl because growing up a teen in America is very treacherous, and for black teens it's often painfully hard and tragic.
Whitney is gone. She died alone too. I believe she was the good girl that went bad. I believe she allowed herself to be swayed by ruthless people she knew and a ruthless public, and that she dropped the best things in order to fit into a system and a way of living that leads to pain, a living death, and finally the ultimate death.
There are lessons to be learned from the death of the beauty, Whitney Houston, but will we learn them? I doubt it.
I didn't expect that Whitney would die so young! Why didn't you?
This is not to rip Whitney apart since she got enough of that in the past, when it was said too many of a certain group took her away from us. This is not patting myself on the back, but I did remain a loyal fan while she still had a real singing career left. Others had started turning their backs on her before that time.
When I learned Whitney Houston had died on Saturday at an age that is a year younger than I am, the lyrics from one of her later songs popped into my head, "It's not right, but it's okay..."
It's really sad what we humans put ourselves through and what others will put us through. I felt so sorry for Whitney, and I wasn't surprised that she would end up dead at a young age. After all, she was in a helluva business, facing a helluva media and helluva fickle fans. It's just so tragic and terrible.
What I want to get to is not Whitney who made some bad choices, but I want to get to the so-called devoted fans. There sure was a lot of noise on Twitter and Facebook Saturday night. Was the noise genuine? I surely hope so, but I doubt some of it was. Or was this some people's way of trying to cover their tracks after tearing another celebrity down that they had lauded, got tired of, and then cast aside? I'm just asking these questions because I remember some ugly things that were being said some time back about WH.
Whitney had one thing in common with Michael Jackson that I noted immediately on the day of her death. Black people came out in droves crying over her demise just like they did with Michael, but where were we when these two were suffering? I remember when Whitney became very popular with whites back in the years of her movie The Bodyguard and black folks said, "We don't like Whitney no more. She's singing for the white folks." Or "Too many white people like her, so I don't listen to her anymore." Oh yeah! One of our many little dirty secrets in this society, and especially with my generation, is that we segregate ourselves according to music too. There is white people and black people music, and never the two shall meet, especially with some of us middle aged and older folks.
Before Whitney's marriage to Bobby Brown, some people had started questioning her sexuality. Whitney was in her twenties, but there was never any news of her being seen with any guy. Some folks started making the assumption she was gay because of this. There were no suggestions that she might have just been picky or being in the business she was in where there were more whites than blacks, that maybe she didn't want to date someone white and was waiting for a black guy. The ugly assumption just popped up. No critical thinking, just getting on the road to start tearing a star who had a innocent image down.
Now Whitney seemed to rush to marry Bobby Brown, who's career was almost non-existent after the gossip started about her sexuality. I did feel she had made a seriously bad move marrying him, but some whites who had supported her started saying that Whitney had turned "ghetto" for marrying crude and rude Bobby.
I'm not going to go much further than this, but I do want to say one word, "hypocrisy." I was still a fan of Whitney even after her heyday. I had no problem with her and Kevin Costner loving each other in The Bodyguard. I wish they had allowed the two characters to get married. So there! It was almost as if Hollywood was afraid to allow it to go beyond what was a very powerful crush. I was there when Whitney was Waiting to Exhale, so I can talk.
We pretend so much with ourselves and others. I see no one expressing their concern for Whitney's teenage daughter who was already experiencing problems. I feel for this young girl because growing up a teen in America is very treacherous, and for black teens it's often painfully hard and tragic.
Whitney is gone. She died alone too. I believe she was the good girl that went bad. I believe she allowed herself to be swayed by ruthless people she knew and a ruthless public, and that she dropped the best things in order to fit into a system and a way of living that leads to pain, a living death, and finally the ultimate death.
There are lessons to be learned from the death of the beauty, Whitney Houston, but will we learn them? I doubt it.
Places I'd Like to See
I haven't been outside the US in close to four years now, and I'm getting restless. I've always felt like a foreigner in my own country, standing on the sidelines either fascinated, indifferent, or disgusted. The fascination ended in about the eighth grade, after then I more or less decided to get on my own path. It was a gradual movement of independent thinking away from the usual mode that many subscribe to. I became more me, not the me that the culture, my race, my family might have wanted, but which was truly this woman, the budding writer, poet, and artist. Now at my age I will never be able to put on the safe persona that others might want for me, and that is good.
There are places I would like to see. I want a real home and civilization based on traditions that work, not the latest craze. But the places I will mention are not necessarily where I might want to live, but I would truly like to see before I die.
The two countries I've spent the most time in were Botswana, a semi-desert, landlocked nation that borders Namibia, Angola, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa; and Turkey which like Russia is in both Europe and Asia. Whereas Botswana is landlocked, Turkey is nearly surrounded by water; four seas touch it: the Sea of Marmara, the Black Sea, the Aegean Sea, and the Mediterranean Sea. Turkey is also surrounded by several countries, Greece, Bulgaria, Iraq, Iran, Georgia, Armenia, and Syria. Whereas I had developed a low self-esteem in my own country, Botswana made me feel proud to be a black person, and Turkey showed me that my character not my color is what really mattered. I could in many ways relax in these countries, whereas here I had learned to feel somewhat guarded and nervous. I didn't realize I felt this way until I left here. Some people carry their biases with them with they travel, but I went with an open mind, and my life was changed for the better.
I am going to mention all the countries I would like visit with explanations why.
*Norway-- One of my favorite writers is Norwegian, Sigrid Undset, a Nobel Prize winning novelist and deservedly so. She brought medieval times alive in her novels. Norway also has mountains and fjords. I love mountains and large bodies of water. I'd also like to see a medieval stave church.
*Tanzania, Zanzibar, or any African country that's stable-- America has a generic culture. We don't have a national cuisine, or rather one with much variety. Even our religious holidays have lost their original meanings. Christmas is just a yearly episode of getting into more debt, trying to flaunt what you got for yourself and your kids to make others pea green with envy, and in the end the junk just ends up in the corner, and we're back out foraging for other stuff we really don't need. I like meaning in life. Knowing your true origins gives some people a sense of pride and an identity to fall back on when times are tough. I met a lady in Botswana who was a British citizen of Russian descent. She'd worked in Tanzania for years and said the people were extremely poor, many in rags, but they were kind and hospitable. As for Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania, it is a mix of African and Arab. The old rulers were from Oman on the east side of Saudi Arabia. I would like to go there and see the people, culture, architecture, and the sea. As for Africa...I am an African in America, and I am proud of it. I don't know if what some told me in Botswana is true, that I look like I'm from a western African tribe that is royalty, but Africa is my roots. It should be remembered that some of my ancestors didn't willing come over here on ships.
*Oman-- I've read a lot of good things about Oman and it's ruler Sultan Qaboos. The Omanis are said to be very hospitable. Oman is a beautiful desert land with some interesting ecosystems. Their Sultan is said to be a peacemaker unlike most of our leaders and a number of his neighbors who are avid peacebreakers. If he gets a Nobel Prize, from what I've read of him, he will be far more deserving than some of the more recent recipients.
*Russia-- The first contact I had with Russia was the book Nicholas and Alexandra. Russia is both East and West with a long rich history. It was considered the third Rome after the Turks took Constantinople (Rome in the East) in 1453. Byzantium lived for a few centuries in on a slightly different way to the north of what is now Turkey. I've met Russians, and I liked them all. The few Russian films I've seen, I like. I like the seriousness and intellect of the Russians I've met. I love their bluntness. There is no pretension there. There is so much history and architecture in Russia. Russia's greatest poet, Alexander Pushkin was of African descent.
*China-- I love Chinese food, traditional music, and some of their movies. Many of the Ph.D.'s that are now earned in this country are by Chinese people. I want to learn about their traditional medicines. This is an old culture that I can learn much from.
*Iran-- Of course, this extremely beautiful country with a mystical tradition has been demonized over and over since I was 17. Read Daughter of Persia: A Woman's Journey From Her Father's Harem Through the Islamic Revolution, by Sattareh Farman Farmaian and you will see that Iran has a long proud history and has been often the victim not the demon. Iran has a city called Shiraz which is called the city of poets and roses. One of the greatest poets of all times Hafez is buried there. If a city has a name like that (the city of poets and roses), the place can't be a site of pure evil.
*Vietnam-- This country is kind of new on my list. A few weeks ago, I was at a middle school where the kids were studying about Vietnam, China, and some other places in Asia. They were looking at a documentary about Vietnam that was surprisingly objective. There was even respect shown for the North Vietnam leader Ho Chin Minh, that he was trying to free his people from decades of Western colonialism. I'm sure that those who want to turn the clock back to the glories of old that I was taught in school, wouldn't like what I saw in that documentary, but that's them, and this is me. After seeing the movie Indochine, I decided I'd like to see the beautiful mountains of unusual shape in Vietnam.
*Croatia-- I got interested in Croatia when I learned there's a coliseum that never gets attention. The country is mountainous and on the sea. Places like that are my kind of place.
*Mongolia-- The Turks say the Mongolians are their cousins. I met a Mongolian once, outside of Walmart of all places. She was selling costume jewelry to help pay for the construction of a school back home. Very friendly, short, and smiling, she told me that everywhere she'd gone in America looked the same I wasn't offended because I understood her point. Many of the us aren't comfortable with variety in surroundings or people, so I didn't get mad at her. She had probably seen Walmart over and over wherever she'd set foot here. I think nomadic cultures and those built on the transportation of the horse are interesting. I want to see and visit a yurt.
*Uzbekistan-- I happen to listen to Uzbek pop music. Unlike Herman Cain who didn't think knowing a little about this Central Asia country or who its current president it is important, I would like to travel there. Years ago after the fall of the Soviet Union there was a series on PBS about different countries that were in the USSR. One program was about an Uzbek family. The mother was a traditional dancer, the father played a traditional Uzbek instrument, the daughter was learning traditional Uzbek dance, regional dances from parts of Russia and ballet, and the son was a school boy. Later I met a some Uzbeks and a Russia Tatar who had lived there. One of my favorite Uzbek singers is Murodbek Qilichev. Here is one his videos which background is in a traditional Uzbek tea house.
There are places I would like to see. I want a real home and civilization based on traditions that work, not the latest craze. But the places I will mention are not necessarily where I might want to live, but I would truly like to see before I die.
The two countries I've spent the most time in were Botswana, a semi-desert, landlocked nation that borders Namibia, Angola, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa; and Turkey which like Russia is in both Europe and Asia. Whereas Botswana is landlocked, Turkey is nearly surrounded by water; four seas touch it: the Sea of Marmara, the Black Sea, the Aegean Sea, and the Mediterranean Sea. Turkey is also surrounded by several countries, Greece, Bulgaria, Iraq, Iran, Georgia, Armenia, and Syria. Whereas I had developed a low self-esteem in my own country, Botswana made me feel proud to be a black person, and Turkey showed me that my character not my color is what really mattered. I could in many ways relax in these countries, whereas here I had learned to feel somewhat guarded and nervous. I didn't realize I felt this way until I left here. Some people carry their biases with them with they travel, but I went with an open mind, and my life was changed for the better.
I am going to mention all the countries I would like visit with explanations why.
*Norway-- One of my favorite writers is Norwegian, Sigrid Undset, a Nobel Prize winning novelist and deservedly so. She brought medieval times alive in her novels. Norway also has mountains and fjords. I love mountains and large bodies of water. I'd also like to see a medieval stave church.
*Tanzania, Zanzibar, or any African country that's stable-- America has a generic culture. We don't have a national cuisine, or rather one with much variety. Even our religious holidays have lost their original meanings. Christmas is just a yearly episode of getting into more debt, trying to flaunt what you got for yourself and your kids to make others pea green with envy, and in the end the junk just ends up in the corner, and we're back out foraging for other stuff we really don't need. I like meaning in life. Knowing your true origins gives some people a sense of pride and an identity to fall back on when times are tough. I met a lady in Botswana who was a British citizen of Russian descent. She'd worked in Tanzania for years and said the people were extremely poor, many in rags, but they were kind and hospitable. As for Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania, it is a mix of African and Arab. The old rulers were from Oman on the east side of Saudi Arabia. I would like to go there and see the people, culture, architecture, and the sea. As for Africa...I am an African in America, and I am proud of it. I don't know if what some told me in Botswana is true, that I look like I'm from a western African tribe that is royalty, but Africa is my roots. It should be remembered that some of my ancestors didn't willing come over here on ships.
*Oman-- I've read a lot of good things about Oman and it's ruler Sultan Qaboos. The Omanis are said to be very hospitable. Oman is a beautiful desert land with some interesting ecosystems. Their Sultan is said to be a peacemaker unlike most of our leaders and a number of his neighbors who are avid peacebreakers. If he gets a Nobel Prize, from what I've read of him, he will be far more deserving than some of the more recent recipients.
*Russia-- The first contact I had with Russia was the book Nicholas and Alexandra. Russia is both East and West with a long rich history. It was considered the third Rome after the Turks took Constantinople (Rome in the East) in 1453. Byzantium lived for a few centuries in on a slightly different way to the north of what is now Turkey. I've met Russians, and I liked them all. The few Russian films I've seen, I like. I like the seriousness and intellect of the Russians I've met. I love their bluntness. There is no pretension there. There is so much history and architecture in Russia. Russia's greatest poet, Alexander Pushkin was of African descent.
*China-- I love Chinese food, traditional music, and some of their movies. Many of the Ph.D.'s that are now earned in this country are by Chinese people. I want to learn about their traditional medicines. This is an old culture that I can learn much from.
*Iran-- Of course, this extremely beautiful country with a mystical tradition has been demonized over and over since I was 17. Read Daughter of Persia: A Woman's Journey From Her Father's Harem Through the Islamic Revolution, by Sattareh Farman Farmaian and you will see that Iran has a long proud history and has been often the victim not the demon. Iran has a city called Shiraz which is called the city of poets and roses. One of the greatest poets of all times Hafez is buried there. If a city has a name like that (the city of poets and roses), the place can't be a site of pure evil.
*Vietnam-- This country is kind of new on my list. A few weeks ago, I was at a middle school where the kids were studying about Vietnam, China, and some other places in Asia. They were looking at a documentary about Vietnam that was surprisingly objective. There was even respect shown for the North Vietnam leader Ho Chin Minh, that he was trying to free his people from decades of Western colonialism. I'm sure that those who want to turn the clock back to the glories of old that I was taught in school, wouldn't like what I saw in that documentary, but that's them, and this is me. After seeing the movie Indochine, I decided I'd like to see the beautiful mountains of unusual shape in Vietnam.
*Croatia-- I got interested in Croatia when I learned there's a coliseum that never gets attention. The country is mountainous and on the sea. Places like that are my kind of place.
*Mongolia-- The Turks say the Mongolians are their cousins. I met a Mongolian once, outside of Walmart of all places. She was selling costume jewelry to help pay for the construction of a school back home. Very friendly, short, and smiling, she told me that everywhere she'd gone in America looked the same I wasn't offended because I understood her point. Many of the us aren't comfortable with variety in surroundings or people, so I didn't get mad at her. She had probably seen Walmart over and over wherever she'd set foot here. I think nomadic cultures and those built on the transportation of the horse are interesting. I want to see and visit a yurt.
*Uzbekistan-- I happen to listen to Uzbek pop music. Unlike Herman Cain who didn't think knowing a little about this Central Asia country or who its current president it is important, I would like to travel there. Years ago after the fall of the Soviet Union there was a series on PBS about different countries that were in the USSR. One program was about an Uzbek family. The mother was a traditional dancer, the father played a traditional Uzbek instrument, the daughter was learning traditional Uzbek dance, regional dances from parts of Russia and ballet, and the son was a school boy. Later I met a some Uzbeks and a Russia Tatar who had lived there. One of my favorite Uzbek singers is Murodbek Qilichev. Here is one his videos which background is in a traditional Uzbek tea house.
*Peru-- I would like to see Machu Picchu I'm also interested in the history of the Incan Empire.
*Argentina-- This country has a pretty name, I think. I want to see some of the different varieties of landscapes and some of places where Eva Peron stood.
As the years go by I'm not so interested in the standard tourist places, France, Italy, etc. My interests have turned to the south and the east. There is a big world out there, and we have only one life. To go nowhere or to be only interested in the places that convention says are the only places one should see is sad and limiting. Get the chains off and step outside the box and learn about some places. Go there if you can.
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