Musings and A Little Food for Thought

*****If things were the way I wanted I would go back into teaching here again, get re-certified.  Last week I really saw that kids need me, but I can't cure the social and familial ills of this country.  I can’t make people respect and revere learning and the profession I worked hard to get into and is now displaced out of because after two years of teaching, two years of disrespect, racism, and little support from the principal of my school, I gave up, was burnt out, angry, extremely hurt, and said never again.  I'm not big enough to cure the problems of this place. 

Last Monday at the non-traditional high school which is just a prelude to prison (police walking the halls, age group of students 16-25, thug attire, an occasional pregnant teen), some of the students told me they wished I was their teacher because I'm "laid-back".  I’ve never thought of myself as laid-back, perhaps high-strung, but... Maybe I am mellowing out a little as I get older.  I will be 50 next month. 

Tuesday I was checking myself in at the start of the day at an elementary school, and someone tapped me on the shoulder.  I turned, and it was a big girl who was a school patrol.  I must have been in one of her classes before because she reached out to me and hugged me and then promptly left.  The  afternoon of the same day after I'd made sure the group of second graders I taught that day were on their correct buses to go home, I was walking back inside and first a tiny boy and then a little girl who were going to their buses also came up to me and hugged me and promptly went off to their buses. 

Before I allowed my certification to lapse years back, the lowest grades I was certified to teach were 4th  grade to 6^th (middle grades) then on to the 7^th to the 12th in Social Studies and English only.  I faced a lot as a young teacher and had little support. I gave up.  Later I got a lot of satisfaction teaching abroad first in an African country, Botswana, and in Turkey.  The family structures were more intact in these countries than here.  There was a big difference in attitudes towards discipline and respect of teachers, things that have been cast aside here.  African-American kids are my biggest concern because they have been hit hardest by a society decaying on every level.  I wish I could be there for them, but my health and lack of patience won’t allow me.

*****Just a dream:  I want to be a queen and have my own Utopian kingdom.  LOL!  I would be a benevolent monarch.  I would make sure my people got the best education and health care.  Everyone would have what they need, and crafts and creativity would be encouraged along with stable marriages and families which are the backbone of any well-functioning society.  I have been called "Queen" a few times on Twitter by other African Americans. Flattered.  

 The above was inspired by when I came home last night from a discussion that I was leading at my old university.  I got home and turned on the TV briefly. Tavis Smiley was interviewing an African lady dressed as an African king.  It was Queen Peggy.  Read her inspiring and surprising story here:  King Peggy: A Cinderella Story--With a Twist   King Peggy is not a complete anomaly.  Africa has had at least one female ruler that lived as a king. She was the Egyptian Pharaoh Hatchepsut, and for those in denial about it, Egypt is in Africa. I know my map, and I won’t allow myself to be brainwashed and browbeaten into believing European or American propaganda that it is not. 

*****I suddenly recalled this yesterday and thought I'd mention it.  A few years ago I told some students very briefly of my adventures teaching English in Turkey.  I showed them a photo of a portion of the Istanbul skyline along the Bosphorus, and a couple of them said, “Disneyland!”  I guess in a way beloved Istanbul, the only city on two continents, Rome in the East, does look like a fantasy. 

*****I’ve known about Kshar’s cooking blog for some time.  He teaches Persian cooking, recites poetry in Farsi, and also teaches about flower arrangements.  I don’t know a lot about Persian/Iranian foods, but I see some similarities to Turkish cuisine, but I also believe Persian recipes are even more complex than the Turkish.  I do some Turkish cooking when I can.  I had an Iranian friend here in town, but she moved, and the times I visited her home, she had kept her country’s tradition of great food.  She was an older woman close to my mom’s age, and had fled Iran with her husband and children after the 1979 Islamic Revolution.  I was fascinated by the beauty and colors of the meals she presented to her guests.  I see the same and more with Kshar’s creations: 

Kshar's food photos

*****Some people might think I’m solely into art, poetry, literature, Eastern and African cultures, but I’m also interested in issues right here at home with my own people.  The previous help me only escape for a little while from thinking about those who are destroyed or doomed and are not even aware of it.  Yes, I’ve had far more friendships with foreign people than people here at home over the years, and in the last few years my closest friendships have been with Turkish people.  I’ve always felt like a foreigner in this country.  It’s very dismal and tragic with a lot of African Americans, a lot of horrors.  Some of what is happening to us is the nature of the society we live in, and also many of our ills are self-inflicted.  We live in a lot of denial as a people.  I believe that if you have nothing else in life, try to have God in your life, a good education, dignity, and self-respect.  All of that in the end will mold you into a person with morals and high standards.  Never shoot for mediocrity. Most people do.  Western culture is encouraging it more and more.  

Week before last I saw this lecture at a black bookstore in Philadelphia by Dr. Umar Abdullah Muhammad, Intellectual Insurrection: From Public Schools to Prison.  I agree with him on about 95% of what he says.  This is a must see for African-Americans and anyone else who is interested in learning about the catastrophes that have hit our community since the death of Dr. King.  Ignore the title.  There is no big focus on Professor Griff on here. Start at about 4:44 just before Dr. Muhammad comes on.

*****Concluding this week’s post, my cousin’s half-sister posted on Facebook this video that honors Whitney Houston.  I thought it was kind of beautiful, but I have no desire to visit Dubai.  Places that are intensely artificial are not to my taste.

Crocodile Tears and Whitney Houston

Boo hoo hoo! Boo hoo hoo!  Please spare me the drama.  

I didn't expect that Whitney would die so young!  Why didn't you?  

This is not to rip Whitney apart since she got enough of that in the past, when it was said too many of a certain group took her away from us. This is not patting myself on the back, but I did remain a loyal fan while she still had a real singing career left. Others had started turning their backs on her before that time.  

When I learned Whitney Houston had died on Saturday at an age that is a year younger than I am, the lyrics from one of her later songs popped into my head, "It's not right, but it's okay..."  

It's really sad what we humans put ourselves through and what others will put us through. I felt so sorry for Whitney, and I wasn't surprised that she would end up dead at a young age.  After all, she was in a helluva business, facing a helluva media and helluva fickle fans.  It's just so tragic and terrible.

What I want to get to is not Whitney who made some bad choices, but I want to get to the so-called devoted fans.  There sure was a lot of noise on Twitter and Facebook Saturday night.  Was the noise genuine? I surely hope so, but I doubt some of it was.  Or was this some people's way of trying to cover their tracks after tearing another celebrity down that they had lauded, got tired of, and then cast aside?  I'm just asking these questions because I remember some ugly things that were being said some time back about WH.

Whitney had one thing in common with Michael Jackson that I noted immediately on the day of her death. Black people came out in droves crying over her demise just like they did with Michael, but where were we when these two were suffering?  I remember when Whitney became very popular with whites back in the years of her movie The Bodyguard and black folks said, "We don't like Whitney no more. She's singing for the white folks." Or "Too many white people like her, so I don't listen to her anymore." Oh yeah! One of our many little dirty secrets in this society, and especially with my generation, is that we segregate ourselves according to music too.  There is white people and black people music, and never the two shall meet, especially with some of us middle aged and older folks.

Before Whitney's marriage to Bobby Brown, some people had started questioning her sexuality.  Whitney was in her twenties, but there was never any news of her being seen with any guy.  Some folks started making the assumption she was gay because of this.  There were no suggestions that she might have just been picky or being in the business she was in where there were more whites than blacks, that maybe she didn't want to date someone white and was waiting for a black guy. The ugly assumption just popped up.  No critical thinking, just getting on the road to start tearing a star who had a innocent image down.  

Now Whitney seemed to rush to marry Bobby Brown, who's career was almost non-existent after the gossip started about her sexuality.  I did feel she had made a seriously bad move marrying him, but some whites who had  supported her started saying that Whitney had turned "ghetto" for marrying crude and rude Bobby.  


I'm not going to go much further than this, but I do want to say one word, "hypocrisy."  I was still a fan of Whitney even after her heyday.  I had no problem with her and Kevin Costner loving each other in The Bodyguard. I wish they had allowed the two characters to get married.  So there! It was almost as if Hollywood was afraid to allow it to go beyond what was a very powerful crush.  I was there when Whitney was Waiting to Exhale, so I can talk.  

We pretend so much with ourselves and others.  I see no one expressing their concern for Whitney's teenage daughter who was already experiencing problems.  I feel for this young girl because growing up a teen in America is very treacherous, and for black teens it's often painfully hard and tragic.  

Whitney is gone. She died alone too.  I believe she was the good girl that went bad.  I believe she allowed herself to be swayed by ruthless people she knew and a ruthless public, and that she dropped the best things in order to fit into a system and a way of living that leads to pain, a living death, and finally the ultimate death.  

There are lessons to be learned from the death of the beauty, Whitney Houston, but will we learn them?  I doubt it. 

Places I'd Like to See

I haven't been outside the US in close to four years now, and I'm getting restless.  I've always felt like a foreigner in my own country, standing on the sidelines either fascinated, indifferent, or disgusted.  The fascination ended in about the eighth grade, after then I more or less decided to get on my own path.  It was a gradual movement of independent thinking away from the usual mode that many subscribe to.  I became more me, not the me that the culture, my race, my family might have wanted, but which was truly this woman, the budding writer, poet, and artist.  Now at my age I will never be able to put on the safe persona that others might want for me, and that is good.  

There are places I would like to see.  I want a real home and civilization based on traditions that work, not the latest craze.  But the places I will mention are not necessarily where I might want to live, but I would truly like to see before I die.

The two countries I've spent the most time in were Botswana, a semi-desert, landlocked nation that borders Namibia, Angola, Zambia, Zimbabwe, and South Africa; and Turkey which like Russia is in both Europe and Asia. Whereas Botswana is landlocked, Turkey is nearly surrounded by water; four seas touch it: the Sea of Marmara, the Black Sea, the Aegean Sea, and the Mediterranean Sea.  Turkey is also surrounded by several countries, Greece, Bulgaria, Iraq, Iran, Georgia, Armenia, and Syria.  Whereas I had developed a low self-esteem in my own country, Botswana made me feel proud to be a black person, and Turkey showed me that my character not my color is what really mattered.  I could in many ways relax in these countries, whereas here I had learned to feel somewhat guarded and nervous.  I didn't realize I felt this way until I left here.  Some people carry their biases with them with they travel, but I went with an open mind, and my life was changed for the better.  


I am going to mention all the countries I would like visit with explanations why.

*Norway-- One of my favorite writers is Norwegian, Sigrid Undset, a Nobel Prize winning novelist and deservedly so.  She brought medieval times alive in her novels.  Norway also has mountains and fjords.  I love mountains and large bodies of water.  I'd also like to see a medieval stave church.  

 *Tanzania, Zanzibar, or any African country that's stable-- America has a generic culture.  We don't have a national cuisine, or rather one with much variety.  Even our religious holidays have lost their original meanings. Christmas is just a yearly episode of getting into more debt, trying to flaunt what you got for yourself and your kids to make others pea green with envy, and in the end the junk just ends up in the corner, and we're back out foraging for other stuff we really don't need.  I like meaning in life.  Knowing your true origins gives some people a sense of pride and an identity to fall back on when times are tough.  I met a lady in Botswana who was a British citizen of Russian descent.  She'd worked in Tanzania for years and said the people were extremely poor, many in rags, but they were kind and hospitable.  As for Zanzibar off the coast of Tanzania, it is a mix of African and Arab.  The old rulers were from Oman on the east side of Saudi Arabia.  I would like to go there and see the people, culture, architecture, and the sea.  As for Africa...I am an African in America, and I am proud of it.  I don't know if what some told me in Botswana is true, that I look like I'm from a western African tribe that is royalty, but Africa is my roots. It should be remembered that some of my ancestors didn't willing come over here on ships.  

*Oman-- I've read a lot of good things about Oman and it's ruler Sultan Qaboos. The Omanis are said to be very hospitable.  Oman is a beautiful desert land with some interesting ecosystems.  Their Sultan is said to be a peacemaker unlike most of our leaders and a number of his neighbors who are avid peacebreakers.  If he gets a Nobel Prize, from what I've read of him, he will be far more deserving than some of the more recent recipients.   


*Russia-- The first contact I had with Russia was the book Nicholas and Alexandra.  Russia is both East and West with a long rich history.  It was considered the third Rome after the Turks took Constantinople (Rome in the East) in 1453.  Byzantium lived for a few centuries in on a slightly different way to the north of what is now Turkey.  I've met Russians, and I liked them all.  The few Russian films I've seen, I like.  I like the seriousness and intellect of the Russians I've met.  I love their bluntness.  There is no pretension there.  There is so much history and architecture in Russia.  Russia's greatest poet, Alexander Pushkin was of African descent.  


*China-- I love Chinese food, traditional music, and some of their movies.  Many of the Ph.D.'s that are now earned in this country are by Chinese people.  I want to learn about their traditional medicines.  This is an old culture that I can learn much from.


*Iran-- Of course, this extremely beautiful country with a mystical tradition has been demonized over and over since I was 17.  Read Daughter of Persia: A Woman's Journey From Her Father's Harem Through the Islamic Revolution, by Sattareh Farman Farmaian and you will see that Iran has a long proud history and has been often the victim not the demon.  Iran has a city called Shiraz which is called the city of poets and roses. One of the greatest poets of all times Hafez is buried there.  If a city has a name like that (the city of poets and roses), the place can't be a site of pure evil.


*Vietnam-- This country is kind of new on my list.  A few weeks ago, I was at a middle school where the kids were studying about Vietnam, China, and some other places in Asia.  They were looking at a documentary about Vietnam that was surprisingly objective.  There was even respect shown for the North Vietnam leader Ho Chin Minh, that he was trying to free his people from decades of Western colonialism.  I'm sure that those who want to turn the clock back to the glories of old that I was taught in school, wouldn't like what I saw in that documentary, but that's them, and this is me. After seeing the movie Indochine, I decided I'd like to see the beautiful mountains of unusual shape in Vietnam.


*Croatia-- I got interested in Croatia when I learned there's a coliseum  that never gets attention. The country is mountainous and on the sea.  Places like that are my kind of place. 


*Mongolia-- The Turks say the Mongolians are their cousins.  I met a Mongolian once, outside of Walmart of all places.  She was selling costume jewelry to help pay for the construction of a school back home.  Very friendly, short, and smiling, she told me that everywhere she'd gone in America looked the same I wasn't offended because I understood her point. Many of the us aren't comfortable with variety in surroundings or people, so I didn't get mad at her.  She had probably seen Walmart over and over wherever she'd set foot here.  I think nomadic cultures and those built on the transportation of the horse are interesting.  I want to see and visit a yurt.


*Uzbekistan-- I happen to listen to Uzbek pop music.  Unlike Herman Cain who didn't think knowing a little about this Central Asia country or who its current president it is important, I would like to travel there.  Years ago after the fall of the Soviet Union there was a series on PBS about different countries that were in the USSR.  One program was about an Uzbek family.  The mother was a traditional dancer, the father played a traditional Uzbek instrument, the daughter was learning traditional Uzbek dance, regional dances from parts of Russia and ballet, and the son was a school boy.  Later I met a some Uzbeks and a Russia Tatar who had lived there. One of my favorite Uzbek singers is Murodbek Qilichev.  Here is one his videos which background is in a traditional Uzbek tea house.

*Peru-- I would like to see Machu Picchu I'm also interested in the history of the Incan Empire.

*Argentina-- This country has a pretty name, I think.  I want to see some of the different varieties of landscapes and some of places where Eva Peron stood.  

As the years go by I'm not so interested in the standard tourist places, France, Italy, etc.  My interests have turned to the south and the east.  There is a big world out there, and we have only one life.  To go nowhere or to be only interested in the places that convention says are the only places one should see is sad and limiting. Get the chains off and step outside the box and learn about some places. Go there if you can.